


Dance Me to the End of Love

by suchaprettyface



Series: The Dreamfasting [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dream Sex, M/M, Silly romantic fluff, Steve's Pov, plus shagging, who doesn't want to get it on in italy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:15:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suchaprettyface/pseuds/suchaprettyface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The Red Skull hadn’t killed me…being frozen solid hadn’t killed me…the Chitauri and Hydra and Ultron hadn’t killed me…but loving him just might. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dance Me to the End of Love

The problem with Fury’s plan was that the Avengers don’t really get “small missions.”

The same day they let me out of the infirmary, we got word that one of the Enhanced who had broken off from Afterlife a couple of years back and built herself a cult of followers had ordered those followers to raid a SHIELD weapons depot in Colorado. The Enhanced had set herself up as a god – which meant that her congregation was willing to walk barefoot into hell if it would make her happy.

Tony and I stood on the roof of the depot, watching the others lead the cult members, hands behind their heads, to the waiting transport. “I don’t get these people,” Tony said. There was disdain in his voice, but also actual curiosity. “I mean yeah, Wonder Wacko was using mind control on them, but they joined the group of their own free will. They’ve seen aliens on TV and know all this magic crap came from them. How do you get from that to worship?” He gave me a sidelong eyebrow. “Aside from sleeping with them.”

I ignored the last statement. “I don’t know,” I said. “Back when all this started your average Asgardian came off pretty godlike to less advanced people. Nowadays, though…it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either.”

The Quinjet was a pretty quiet plane, but I had gotten used to listening for it, and looked up as it loomed over us from the west. “Time to go,” I said. “Scarlet Witch has the Enhanced under an energy field for the ride back to the Zoo. You coming in?”

“Not this time. I’ve got a meeting with Rhodey to go over some suit stuff.” 

I nodded. “Thanks for your help.”

“Anytime, Cap. Say hi to your psycho sweetie for me.”

I shot him a warning look. 

Tony laughed and held up his hands. “Sorry, I’m just saying what everyone else is. You can’t really expect people not to talk after that lip lock in the infirmary the other day.”

Tony’s famous lack of tact was usually aggravating, but it could also be a good thing. “What else are they saying?”

“Well some people think it’s adorable.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. They’re calling you Stoki.”

“Great.”

“Pretty much everyone else thinks you’ve been Disco Sticked like Barton and Selvig were. Except now Barton’s being weirdly quiet on the whole thing, and the Zoo staff seems to think your boy is a big misunderstood teddy bear. So I’d say reactions are mixed.”

Sighing, I nodded. “Guess it could be worse.”

The suit couldn’t shrug, exactly, but I got that impression anyway. “Fury thinks you’re okay to go back to work, I’ll go with him on it. Not having you in the field has been pretty shitty.”

“So you’re okay with it. Me being involved with a…psycho.” I made the dislike of the last word as clear as I could.

“Didn’t say that. But the thing is, Cap…” I could feel one of those rare moments of Stark sincerity coming, and I had no idea which direction it would go in. It still surprised me when he said, “Everybody – except maybe you – has screwed up, sometimes on a pretty grand scale. I did build a robot that nearly blew up the planet, after all. But we all get second chances. I think even Fury knows you can’t just give those to your friends – if it doesn’t apply to everybody it’s just a nice idea. So maybe nobody really believes your boy’s reformed, but I think everybody _wants_ to, deep down.” 

I had no idea how to react to that, but he didn’t make me – another thing about Tony I’d come to appreciate was that his discomfort with actual human emotion meant he was surprisingly sensitive to other people’s. He’d drop something like that and mean every word, but didn’t want to have a big discussion or force anyone else to, so he’d fly off before things got even more awkward. 

I didn’t want more discussion either. I’d had to explain myself an awful lot lately. I wondered – if everything kept going okay – how long it would take everyone to get used to Loki being around and part of my life. They didn’t have to like it, just accept it and get on with business.

The cult members were taken off to a SHIELD facility where hopefully most would snap out of their slave-drone devotion and be able to go home in a few days; there would be counselors and other professionals there for those who had more than just the mind-control magic to deal with. The Enhanced came back with us to HQ to be evaluated and her fate decided in secure containment. I followed the group of guards leading her in handcuffs to the far end of the Zoo, past the cell where I’d been staying, and past Cell E.

Loki was standing at the window, arms crossed, watching them walk the Enhanced past; her eyes grew wide when she saw him. Even if everyone on the planet didn’t know who he was, he was still an impressive figure – all in black, chin lowered slightly, a world of thoughts in his smoky blue eyes. 

This Enhanced, however, was actually crazy as far as we could tell – I was pretty sure she had convinced herself she really was a god. She bared her teeth at Loki as she passed in an obvious challenge.

Loki raised one eyebrow, fixing a look on the woman that apparently scared her half to death – she whimpered and pushed herself farther from the cell. Her bravado instantly evaporated and she went from strutting to slinking.

Crazy, not stupid.

I caught his eye. He flashed me a wicked grin before returning to the chair and the already-growing stack of books next to it.

One of the guards saw the look and glanced back at me, but I managed to look like a professional even though that smile had made my skin feel like it was on too tight. I stood back and supervised getting the woman into her cell, double-checked the security measures, and left the Zoo to give Fury a mission report.

Fury, at his desk, was looking over a screen full of data when I came in, and as soon as I’d finished recounting the day’s events, I asked, “So how did I do?”

He sat back. “Impressive as always. I can’t fully reinstate you based on one mission, but I am going to get you out of the Zoo, provided you agree to limited monitoring on your quarters for thirty days. No cameras, just scanners. You can keep going out in the field during that time, and once it’s up we’ll consider you back for good.”

“Agreed,” I said, trying not to react too obviously despite the urge to jump up and down. 

“But for this to work, Captain, I have to be able to trust you – meaning, if anything goes wrong, anything no matter how small affects you while on mission, I have to hear about it.”

“Understood, sir.”

“All right. Go get your things out of the Zoo.”

I managed not to run.

There were still guards around the new inhabitant’s cell, so I couldn’t really tell what she was doing; and Cell E had actual walls, so the only way to look into it was through the front. But I knew Loki knew I was there as much as I knew he was. 

I’d avoided asking Fury about him this soon – the more eager I was the more compromised I sounded. I told myself that I needed to wait to request a visit, to make it clear my priorities were in the right order…and that it wasn’t that big of a deal considering all I had to do to talk to Loki was fall asleep.

Funny. I’d had so much trouble sleeping when I first thawed. I’d been terrified to shut my eyes and wake up another 70 years later. I told people I didn’t remember being frozen, and that was mostly true…but when I thought about it there was this feeling of vague, creeping horror that I couldn’t shake, of being trapped and unable to call for help. I couldn’t be sure it was real; it could just be my imagination trying to make sense of the whole thing. But it kept me awake for months. After that, nightmares stepped up to bat – of Peggy crying with my picture in her hand, of Bucky’s face as he fell from the train…of Bucky’s blank look turning to shock and fear – and recognition? I still didn’t know, and that was a nightmare all its own – as the helicarrier went down. 

Nightmares of war, blood, death…the disgusting and malicious faces of the Chitauri blasting their weapons at innocent people while more and more of them filled the sky.

Now I had a whole new source of nightmares, but I still couldn’t wait to go to sleep. 

I stripped off my uniform and took a shower in my own bathroom, then puttered around the apartment putting things away. Peggy’s painting went back on its nail, my shield back on its hanger. I breathed in the silence and space – rooms, walls, privacy. 

When I went in the bedroom, I froze, heart catching.

There was a small ceramic pot sitting on my bed, nestled between the two pillows. 

I flipped on the light and got a better look: a potted plant, about four inches across, round, some kind of fired clay carved all over…in Runes.

Of course.

I sat down and picked up the plant – it wasn’t flowers, it was grass.

Smiling, I held it up to my nose and inhaled.

Apple grass.

It was instantaneous: the second the scent hit me, my body reacted to it, arousal surging through me just from the smell. Then I remembered my shoulders and back and the back of my head grinding into the grass, releasing the scent over and over. 

Hopefully real apples wouldn’t have the same effect. That could make breakfast kind of tricky.

There was really no point in asking questions. I just set the pot on my desk – I’d have to try it out on the windowsill later – and climbed into bed, still smiling.

I had just gotten good and comfortable when I opened my eyes, and this time the setting was even weirder than a vacation planet or the Realm Eternal. 

“A restaurant?”

Loki smiled. “I seem to recall you like Italian.”

“Where are we?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Italy.”

I laughed. “You are something else.” I looked around with interest; we were at a table outdoors, the patio strung with lights, live music playing in the distance. Waiters and other diners bustled around, but our table was off to the side, out of the way. 

“As charged as our last few meetings have been I thought it might be a relief to just…be somewhere no one knows either of us.”

I nodded. He was right – not a soul even glanced our way. Of course, he was wearing human clothes, which helped us blend in way more than armor and cloaks. I guess it didn’t really matter; this was technically imaginary. But the concession to normal life made me smile behind my menu.

“You look tired,” I commented.

“Do I?” He looked both surprised and a little touched that I’d noticed. “I’m fine.”

I raised an eyebrow at him.

He laughed. “All right, all right. If you’ll recall I told you most of my magical abilities lie in illusion – well, what I used to fetch you and your compatriots from your captors was assuredly _not_ illusion. Normally I would have been far more miserly with my power, but…well. I had a certain sense of unaccustomed urgency.”

“But you’re just tired, not…hurt? It’s not serious?”

Something doubtful flickered in his eyes, and I saw him debating whether or not to tell me, but at some point we’d agreed on mutual honesty without actually agreeing on it, and after a pause he replied, “It is not serious. In another day I will be my usual sparkling self. However…it has left me open, a bit, for some unpleasant dreams, and waking in semi-captivity doesn’t help.”

“Oh, God. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to deal with that because you helped me.”

He took an elegant sip of his wine and smiled over the rim of the glass. “Worth every lost moment of rest, my Captain.”

I lowered my eyes, biting my lip against an embarrassingly happy smile. “Have you been here before?” I asked. “I know this isn’t one of my memories.”

“I have indeed.”

“This doesn’t seem like a high-class enough establishment for you.” I noticed a glass of wine at my elbow and picked it up. I can’t get drunk, but it seemed ridiculous to be in a place like this and not at least try the wine. When in Rome. “I doubt they get a lot of princes in here.”

“On the contrary,” he replied, “I have discovered two important things in my travels: one, the best fare is to be had at places like this that my peers would scorn as too common. Two, whatever flaws your Midgard may possess, the food on this planet is amazing.”

“So you guys eat like regular people.”

“I don’t know about ‘regular.’ Most Asgardians have enormous appetites. They seem to consider devouring an entire farm animal in one sitting a badge of honor. As you can imagine I’m something of an anomaly. But yes, I eat. In fact if you like I can order for you. Or do you speak Italian?”

“Not a word,” I admitted. “I guess if I really tried I could get it out of your brain…but I’d much rather hear you.”

“I am happy to oblige.” When the waitress came around again, I watched while he ordered and had what sounded like a slightly flirtatious conversation with the waitress, and I tried very surreptitiously to fan myself with my menu. What _is_ it about Italian?

When she left I said, “If this is a dream tell me why I can’t jump you from across the table.”

“Because then you would miss out on what I assure you will be the best pasta of your entire existence.”

Feigning resignation, I sipped my wine, and we grinned at each other for a minute before he slid his hand across the table and took mine. I felt warm all over, and once again noticed how relaxed I was. I wasn’t Captain America, just me, being stared at by someone who knew quite intimately who I was underneath the hood. 

“So I assume my new Zoo-mate was the subject of your trial mission,” Loki said. “She seemed…friendly.”

Laughing, I told him, “Yeah, what was that look you gave her? She nearly came out of her skin.”

“You could call it a supervillain look, I suppose. I simply let her see the power I could command, and how I could turn it on her even in my cell.”

“Your supervillain look.”

“Of course. Observe.” He tilted his chin down, looked up at me, and something very subtle changed in his expression, darkening, his eyes burning. Slowly, he smiled – a cold, cruel smile I remembered all too well, and it felt like the temperature outside dropped ten degrees.

“Stop that,” I said without really meaning to. 

The look vanished instantly, and I realized what a huge difference there was between the Loki who had tried to kill me and the one sitting across from me. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I did not mean to disturb you.”

“No, it’s okay, I just…I like this you a lot better.”

He tilted his head to the left just a little. “That would make you one of the few.”

“I can think of at least two other people.” I summoned a smile to dispel the weird feeling that look had given me. It was such a strange combination of scary, maddening, and sexy. 

Actually that was probably a good description for Loki in general. 

“Speaking of Thor,” I said – and at his immediate bristling, went on quickly – “I was wondering, earlier while we were off on mission, why people nowadays would still want to worship an Enhanced as a god. It made more sense back when people were less knowledgeable about the universe, and more sense if we're talking actual aliens, but…what do you think? I mean, since you’ve been on the receiving end.”

He gave me an arch look and very, very lightly ran his index finger along the inside of my wrist. “The receiving end, Captain?”

I turned scarlet. “You know what I mean!”

Again, that laugh, nearly soundless but lighting up his entire face. “Yes. “ He cleared his throat. “What breeds faith is uncertainty. It is in itself a form of uncertainty, as its essence is a lack of empirical proof. It doesn’t matter how advanced a civilization is – in times of fear and doubt, or great turmoil, the numbers of faithful spike significantly. Look at the rest of your planet: when a war breaks out or a disaster strikes they turn up in houses of worship in droves. That remains true across galaxies. My people and many others, including your own, have taken advantage of that. People are afraid of all the changes in their world, and some look to be led.”

“You were made to be ruled,” I murmured. I regretted it immediately.

“Yes, something like that,” he said, looking away. “But you get the point.”

“Sorry,” I said, chagrined. “It just popped into my head. So, um…how do most Asgardians feel about being gods down here?”

“Some came here specifically to inflate their own egos. Most think nothing of it. As I’ve said, Midgard is considered a backwater by the high and mighty denizens of Asgard.”

Right then dinner arrived. I was glad. Time to change the subject. “But we still have better food.”

“You do indeed.” He held up his glass, and I echoed the motion, clinking the two together. 

He was right about the food – real or not it was the best I’d ever tasted, even though I barely remember what I had. I just remember being thankful nobody was looking during dessert when he took my hand and delicately licked whipped cream off my fingers. I about melted into my chair.

“We really should get out of here,” I said quietly.

“What’s the hurry?” he asked mildly, pretending to ignore the look I gave him, but he ran one hand over the surface of the table and a tidy stack of bills appeared. He rose smoothly, offering me a hand up with a slight bow.

I took it and stood; by the time I blinked, the restaurant was gone, and we were on the streets of what I’m guessing was the same city. I almost protested the lack of a bedroom anywhere nearby, but before I could complain, he offered his arm and said, in a low, warm voice, “Walk with me, my darling.”

There was no way I could say no to that. 

We made our way through the dignified old streets with their fountains and statuary, enjoying the cool night and the bright Moon. There were people around, but they seemed unreal, like extras in a movie rather than actual characters. 

“Do you have any regrets about all this?” he asked, gesturing from my head to my feet. 

“You mean about volunteering for the experiment?” I frowned slightly. “I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that. But…no, not really. I mean there are times I want to give up being Captain America and definitely times I’ve wanted to walk away from SHIELD, but when I think about all the good I’ve managed to do that I never would have, I’m glad I had the chance.”

A slow nod. I knew better than to ask him a similar question. 

Instead, I said, “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“You’re welcome.” He grew quiet for a while, which worried me – I couldn’t interpret his expression.

“You okay?”

He started a little. “Yes, of course. My apologies. Lost in thought, it seems.”

“Do you want to tell me what you were thinking about?”

“Not really. You already take on too much of my sin. I would not burden you further.”

“I have a strong back,” I reminded him. “I can carry anything you need me to. You keep telling me I don’t have to be a hero. That works both ways, you know.”

“Except that you are the hero, and I…am not.”

We’d reached a large fountain in the middle of a square, and I stopped, taking both of his hands. “I think you’re amazing,” I said seriously. “I just wish you liked yourself a little more…because I like you, and I like to think I have pretty good taste.”

The music I’d heard at the restaurant was louder here, and I saw across the square that a little band had set up to entertain guests at some party. A number of their revelers had hopped over the gate and were dancing along the street.

“That’s a waltz, right?” I asked. “I know that one.”

“Do you know the steps?”

“Sort of. I mean I know the order they go in, I just never really got to practice.”

Smiling, he took a step back and bowed gallantly. “If I may,” he said, “It would be an honor to ask the privilege of a dance from the brave and true Steve Rogers.”

I didn’t answer at first. I thought of Peggy – would Peggy like any of this? Dancing with somebody else felt like stepping on the toes of her memory…but she’d told me more than once before she died that she wanted me to move on, find my own life. And now, she was gone, and would never teach me. 

“Um…who leads?” I asked.

Loki smiled. “I will this time. But next time, you. You must practice both if you wish to be proficient with either women or men.”

As he’d done before, he lifted my hands and placed them where they were supposed to go. His arm slid warmly around my back, both supporting and guiding. I lay one hand on his shoulder.

First thing I did was step on his foot.

“Damn,” I muttered, embarrassed. “Sorry.”

Loki chuckled. “Always start on the left, when you lead; and the right, when you follow. Relax…no one is watching.”

This time, he slowed down, half the speed of the music. That was a lot easier. 

_So slowly…those hands moving down over my chest, unbuttoning my shirt as they went. God, those hands. I lay there with my arms up over my head, letting him do whatever he wanted, because I knew how good it would feel, and I knew how much I’d enjoy watching._

“You are trying too hard to lead, my Captain,” he told me. “Sometimes you must let someone else have control.”

_A few hungry kisses left me delirious with need – as his lips left mine they moved over my skin, tasting and nibbling every inch, and it took everything in me not to urge him to hurry…because as intense and fierce as last time had been I wanted to know what it felt like to do this slowly and savor every touch._

_That grace became almost feline – the flick of a tongue, the long draw of nails along my sides, a murmur of appreciation that definitely sounded like a purr._

A laugh. “Try again.” But my timing was lousy; I crashed into him this time, and we were both laughing.

“Very well…let’s try and simplify this, shall we?” Loki tightened the arm around my waist and drew me closer, opting simply to sway. 

“This I can do,” I said. 

_The Red Skull hadn’t killed me…being frozen solid hadn’t killed me…the Chitauri and Hydra and Ultron hadn’t killed me…but loving him just might. I moved my hands down over his shoulders and back, underneath his belt, luxuriating in the smooth skin and hard muscle beneath. Raven-black hair fell into my face as he kissed me, tongue dipping lightly into my mouth._

I felt one of his hands slide around the back of my neck and pull me even tighter in so we were pressed together everywhere possible. 

“This is probably the most disgustingly romantic thing I’ve ever done,” I observed. “I swear if anyone I knew could see us they’d go into an instant diabetic coma.”

“Does that mean I should let go of you?”

“No.” I bent my neck to lean my head on his shoulder. “Not until you have to.”

_It was strange to feel regular human clothes where I was used to leather and linen, but it also meant I didn’t have to fight my way in. I couldn’t decide which I liked removing more – but both made equally satisfying heaps on the floor, and both left me with a naked Asgardian stretched out on top of me._

_As soon as my clothes were off, he rolled both of us over so I was looking down into his face._

_“Your turn to lead, Captain,” he said in that purr of a voice that instantly got me even harder than I already was. “I trust you know the steps.”_

_“Oh yes,” I replied. I shifted off and grabbed his shoulder, smiling before I pushed him onto his stomach. I brushed hair from the back of his neck so I could lean in and suck hard on the skin there, then bite._

_A low groan. “I like the way you dance.”_

I don’t know how much time passed, but eventually Loki said into my ear, “Walk with me again…this time to someplace more private.”

Even with the promise in that statement I admit I was reluctant to move away. I almost never have the chance to lean on someone else – especially not someone I knew was my equal or better in strength. It was really no wonder that, history be damned, I felt so safe with someone who had, historically, been so _unsafe._

This time we headed out of the square, not far away, to a narrow two-story house sandwiched in among all its neighbors. It looked as worn and run-down as the rest of the old city I’d seen so far, but just like the city, it had a quiet sort of nobility, a sturdiness. It had probably been there a century or more…which actually meant it wasn’t a whole lot older than me.

It wasn’t locked, in fact it seemed empty. He led me up a narrow staircase to a second-floor bedroom. It was a far cry from the grandeur of Navaroth or the palace of Asgard, but, I realized, we hadn’t really gotten very far in either of those places. My bedroom, the waterfall…and now this place, an old creaky house in Italy with equally creaky but huge furniture and a bed whose linens spilled all the way to the wood floor. The paint was peeling, but it was just as clean as a palace, and way more inviting. I could see the Moon out the open window. 

As I was looking around I felt his hands on my shoulders, drawing off my leather jacket and tossing it on a chair. Arms wound around me from behind and I sighed, tipping my head to the side to allow slow kisses all along my throat.

We faced each other again like we had when we were dancing only this time with considerably more touching. His jacket joined mine, and we sank down onto the bed together, lips seeking each other out, falling into one kiss after another.

By the time I had him facedown on the bed, everything had taken on a hushed, almost blurry quality – in other words it felt like a dream, but the kind that goes on for hours, and isn’t hemmed in by ordinary ideas like time. I could still see the Moon out the window, but I had a sense that the rest of the city had dissolved, and this room and the two of us were all that remained.

“So,” I said, “You’re going to have to show me that lube-out-of-nowhere trick of yours, or this is going to be a bit less fun than last time.”

A contented sigh, then: “That one’s easy – little things like that are just a matter of intent. Focus your will, be very clear about what you want, and breathe.”

I didn’t think I got it, but then what Wanda had said hadn’t made much sense either and I hadn’t really needed to overanalyze it. I concentrated on my hand, imagining my fingers suddenly shiny and slick in the darkness, fueling the image with how much I wanted this…the power of that desire began to coalesce around my hand with a faint green flicker, and in a matter of a few breaths…it worked.

“Huh. That really was easy.”

“You’ll be a trained sorcerer before you know it.”

I grinned. “Well, if all magic got me to where I’m at right now, I’d be early to class every day.”

I wondered what that would be like, actually being good at magic – using it as an actual tool instead of just trying to keep it at bay. If we could figure out how to work together…if I could get the others to accept him…we’d be unstoppable. If only, if only.

Again I found myself torn between wanting to take it slow and wanting to devour him. Maybe I could find a middle ground somewhere. I bent my neck and resumed kissing down along his spine, pausing at each vertebra I could feel to linger for a moment before moving on. Loki was resting his head on his clasped hands, giving me a chance to admire his shoulder muscles…and to notice something I hadn’t before…scars.

They were faint, as if they were decades old, but I had a feeling they were way newer than that. Touching one, I had a twinge of memory I didn’t want…that one was from a whip. Another, a knife serrated up half its blade. 

Loki glanced up at me. “Are you well?”

“Yeah. I just…your scars. I thought…” I went back to kissing, trying not to look at the marks anymore and just concentrate on the here and now. “It’s okay,” I murmured. “Just having a moment.”

“If you’d rather the room were darker, I can put out the Moon.”

“No – no. It’s not that I don’t want to see. I just wish to God there was nothing _to_ see.” I kissed one of the scars lightly – even though I knew it wouldn’t be painful, I couldn’t stand the idea of pressing too hard. “You know I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again, right? Anyone even tries, they’ll regret it.”

He lifted his head up and twisted partway to look at me, frowning. “You really mean that,” he said, sounding genuinely amazed. 

“Damn right I do.”

Displaying remarkable flexibility he put a hand on my neck and kissed me fiercely, then whispered, “No one’s ever said anything like that to me. No one.” A light kiss on my nose, then in almost a hiss, “Now fuck me.” 

As always I marveled at his unique ability to both turn me on and break my heart at the same time. I tried not to go all fumble-fingered under the effect his voice had on me, and shifted off to one side slightly, my slicked hand taking over since the rest of me was apparently AWOL. 

I started just by touching, which was exactly what I’d wanted to do all along, just to feel the soft, thinner skin in intimate places untouched mostly by warrior’s training or fleeing from one end of the galaxy to the other. I pushed his thighs apart a bit, affording me space to slowly and happily run my hand all over him, giving his skin a soft sheen from whatever was in the lube. 

His breath was low and slow, with the occasional hitch as my nail scratched a little deeply or I hit a particularly sensitive spot, but he was as deeply relaxed as I’d ever seen him, just soaking in the attention like he’d been starved for it but too afraid to ask for more.

I almost asked a question, but realized before I could summon the words that I was stalling – I was nervous. I hadn’t been the last time, even though I’d been the one on the bottom and that was new to me, but now…after what I’d seen, what I knew he’d been through, I was afraid to either injure him or trigger something. 

I lowered myself just a little and said into his ear, “I love you…don’t forget that, okay? And if anything hurts or you want to stop for any reason, just say so.”

I expected at least a little sarcasm, or the sense that he was growing impatient, but I guess the sincerity of the words got through, because all he said was, “All right.”

Bracing myself as if it were my body being breached, I pressed one finger in, felt a shudder run through him – but not a bad one, as far as I could tell. I eased him open a little at a time, only adding my index finger when I was sure it wouldn’t hurt – now I knew how this felt, and that gave a whole new dimension to things. I knew how it felt to be stretched slowly, wanting everything at once but knowing better just by the slight burn and unbearable tension. 

I’d never really fretted much over penis size – I knew the second I looked in the mirror after the serum that proving my masculinity was never going to be a problem again. Judging by the reactions I got in bed I didn’t have anything to worry about, but now, as I ran my hand along the shaft to slicken it, suddenly I had the opposite of what most guys seem to stress over. 

There was a chuckle. “Captain,” Loki told me, voice night-dark and full of expectation, “trust me, you’re fine. Think of that first night in your bed, when I had all of you down my throat…glorious, yes, and what I would consider perfect, but I have no fear of you hurting me, now or ever. That night I thought of this moment, and how magnificent you would feel when you finally took me…and with each suck I wondered how you would move against me, and how it would feel to lay bare and open to you, filled with your cock and drunk on your skin…”

I groaned. He knew _exactly_ what his voice did to me. I nearly went back on everything I’d said about being too rough, but managed to hold back, and with a hand that shook a little with overwhelming need, guided myself in…I wanted to push hard and drive into his body until there was no room for anything else, ever, but forced myself to take it slowly, a scant inch at a time. I was sweating from the effort. Gradually everything else faded: the room, the breezy night, everything but the tightness surrounding me and gripping so hard I could feel his heartbeat.

His hands were clenched in the sheets, his eyes shut, a look of intense concentration on his face, but not pain and not fear. When my hips finally met his and I could go no further, I took a second to breathe and feel the muscles throughout his body adjusting very slightly. I didn’t want to move, but I had to move – I pulled back just as slowly as I’d entered. 

Suddenly I needed to touch him more than this. I didn’t want to mate him like a prize mare, I wanted contact. As I slid back inside him, I rolled a little toward my back, pulling him against my chest. I threaded my leg through his to hold his legs apart enough, and took solid hold of his hip with one hand, both of us now mostly on our sides, my cock still sliding in and out of his ass at a different angle, one that, based on the moan that turned into whimpers as I moved, was appreciated.

This was what I’d wanted…yes, this…locked together, barely even moving from the outside but those tiny shifts of my hips making pleasure ricochet through me from head to foot. He pressed back against me in rhythm, taking me as deep as possible and then rocking slightly forward, a serpentine undulation moving through both of us. 

But there was more.

“Reach for me,” Loki said, voice hushed and unguarded, rough. “With your magic. Breathe in, and out…reach like you’re taking my hand.”

In the state I was in it didn’t occur to me to wonder if I could do that; of course I could. I took what little of my attention wasn’t in my dick at the moment and bent my mind toward that fire that I knew was there. I breathed in, and pulled it up through my body; I breathed out, and let it flow from me into him, where it coiled around him and then back up to me. He was doing the same thing, and before I had time to think about what it meant, our energies collided, and I nearly blacked out from mindless, breathless joy.

To say I’d “never felt anything like it,” is accurate, but it’s also the understatement of the century, something I can verify having been alive for one. From one breath to the next I could feel everything he was feeling, like I was inside both our bodies at once; my hands were his on my skin, gliding over the flat plane of my stomach and down to stroke his – my – shaft with the same slow dancing grace as the rest of our movements. We rolled from one side of the bed to the other, through every angle, never in a hurry. Neither of us wanted it to end. 

Finally he wove himself among my limbs so that he was on his back with his legs wrapped firmly around my torso, my mouth sucking his throat, one hand under his ass to pull him against me over and over. I let my mouth find his; his tongue slipped in and out between my lips in perfect step with my cock down between his legs. The kiss went on forever, into intense and back along the tightrope to intimate, from loving to fierce. My peripheral vision was full of green light.

Little by little the bed started to creak louder. Without noticing it I’d begun to move faster – guided, I realized, by the tighten-and-pull of muscles against mine. My breath came harder by the minute, along with little noises I couldn’t seem to stop. I had, apparently, lost control of the situation.

“You said…it was…my turn to take the lead,” I panted. 

He managed a laugh and ran his fingernails from my shoulders downward, dragging them to my hips and over my backside, the pain electrifying. “Then take it back.”

My only reply was to drive in even harder. Maybe it was surrender, but really, I was all right with that.

Again we fell silent, or lost the ability to speak, either one. I breathed more energy into the field that surrounded us, and the sensations compounded – it was almost too much, too deep to be joined to any other being, too much for my mind to hold onto. But I couldn’t let up. I pushed forward, physically and metaphysically, and worked one hand down between us again, shifting all my weight to the other. The roughness of my belly against his cock was hot, but I had better plans, and once again concentrated on my hand so I could wrap my fingers around him and stroke without so much friction.

I could sense we were both on the edge, so I tried something: I exhaled into the field and imagined I could touch every single cell of his body and light it on fire with pleasure. I’m not sure exactly what that caused, but the effect was…Good God.

Violent tremors ran through him. His back arched, and the sound he made was enough to undo me too: not loud, and not screaming, but the sound of someone utterly shattered, not out of pain but out of overwhelming emotion and sensation finally hitting the mirror and sending it into shards. Hot wetness hit my midsection, but I was too hypnotized by the look on his face to really register it. Flushed, sweating, lower lip trembling just slightly, eyes shut tight…I couldn’t bear the beauty of it anymore. I let the flames consume me, green light burning out everything I knew, and as if to counterbalance his near-silence, I, well, made a lot of noise.

If we’d been in the real world I’m guessing that orgasm would have measured on the Richter scale. The magical energy sort of exploded throughout the room, not damaging anything but feeling almost like the building shook. It might have, it’s hard to say – it might have just been me.

All I could hear for a while was heaving breaths and racing hearts. Both were thunderous in the silence. I closed my eyes for a minute to try and gather the scattered pieces of my mind which, like my clothes, were all over the place.

When I looked down again, he was watching me, a proprietary little smile on his face. One of his hands lifted off the mattress and touched my cheek, then ran down along my shoulder and arm, finally moving back up to the center of my chest.

“You are so beautiful,” I murmured, leaning down to kiss him. He nipped my lower lip, and smiled.

There was a shade of old, almost sweet sadness in his voice. “I doubt that I shall ever be what you think I am, whatever it is you see in me that makes you look at me differently than anyone ever has…but I will strive, as far as I can, to be worthy of your love…I can make you no promises save that for you, Steven Rogers, I shall try to be the better man I am in your eyes.”

That emotional openness that happens after sex was still on me too, and I felt my eyes burning from the gentle sincerity of those words. I nodded, taking a deep breath, and kissed him.

And then the bed broke.

One of the boards of the frame apparently quit its job in protest over the strain we’d caused it, and cracked loudly. The entire bed pitched sideways – the angle wasn’t quite enough to send us to the floor, but it was a shock, and the second the bed hit the ground—

\--I woke up.

I sat up straight, blinking away the sudden and violent transition, a bit confused for a second about where I was. My room came back into focus. Everything was exactly as it had been when I went to sleep. I wasn’t even sweaty.

I hadn’t wanted to wake yet. It was way too abrupt – no time to relax, to enjoy that feeling of slack limbs and lazy sprawling. 

I glanced at the clock. 3am. Good.

My bare feet were soundless in the hallway and on the stairs; I tried not to think too much about what I was doing, or who might see. 

No one else in the Zoo was awake. I put in the code for Cell E and let the door slide shut behind me.

When I poked my head around the not-quite-a-doorway that separated “living area” from “bedroom,” I smiled. Loki, awake and wearing a black version of almost my exact outfit, was waiting for me, and pulled the blankets aside so I could climb in.

We didn’t speak, and aside from one kiss didn’t do anything the cameras might blush over – instead, we curled up as we would have in the dream, my chest against his back, my face nuzzled up to the back of his long graceful neck. I could never put a name to the scent I caught whenever I smelled his hair – yeah, there was the same shampoo that everyone in the Zoo was issued, but it was something under that. I ran my fingers back through it, and part of me was surprised it wasn’t sweaty. I really had expected these dreams to bleed over to the real world at least a little, but they were self-contained, and no one watching either of us sleep would be able to tell what was going on inside. 

I let my hand wander down his arm and hip, then back up, catching his hand and clasping it against his chest. Waves of sleepiness washed over me – after a long day Avenging and the last few hours, I was done, and glad to be done if it meant I could be here.

I drifted off with that waltz from the city streets fading in and out of my memory, and I was smiling when I closed my eyes.


End file.
